Your Indie Bird of the Week, Thanksgiving Edition

You might have read the title up there and said “Hey, you don’t write a post about a bird every week!” I respond with this: sometimes life does not allow you to be as indie as you’d like to be. I got thrown out of my senior prom for trying to wear those exact same ironically pink cords you read about. We’re not the problem. Pink cords are not the problem. Society is the problem.

Anyway, I would love to be a real indie bastard and give you some random bird this week, but today is Thanksgiving, and we will honor the bird that has a very bad time on this day: the turkey.

The always reliable Wikipedia tells us that the turkey’s we eat on this day descend from Meleagris gallopavo. The fleshy part on the top of the turkey’s beak is called a snood while the part under the beak is known as a wattle. Those are some nice truth bombs to drop on your friends. Turkeys live a mostly mundane life. If I had to live my whole life cramped up next to a bunch of other people waiting to be inevitably slaughtered and have my head chopped off then eventually savored by millions of people every Thanksgiving, all while the farmer may or may not be listening to Creed or Nickelback on the job, I would be a little pissed. Run-on sentences aside, I can see how some turkey fights might break out. When turkeys get mad, they let out a high-pitched shriek, which initiates a turkey duel in which the turkeys essentially duke it out with their large, sharp talons (essentially). Indie bird aggression should not be underestimated.

Also, according to Wikipedia, the male turkey and I try to woo our prospective female species the exact same way:

“Maturing males spend a considerable proportion of their time sexually displaying. This is very similar to that of the wild turkey and involves fanning the tail feathers, drooping the wings and erecting all body feathers, including the ‘beard’ (a tuft of black, modified hair-like feathers on the centre of the breast). The skin of the head, neck and caruncles (fleshy nodules) becomes bright blue and red, and the snood (an erectile appendage on the forehead) elongates. The birds ‘sneeze’ at regular intervals, followed by a rapid vibration of their tail feathers. Throughout, the birds strut slowly about, with the neck arched backward, their breasts thrust forward and emitting their characteristic ‘gobbling’ call.”

My lady-friend Aurora is getting all hot and bothered just thinking about that.

But we mostly see the turkey in it’s natural, most delicious state:

Happy Thanksgiving!

– The Nature Boy

Your Indie Bird of the Week

You see that bright beak? Yeah, this one is ready to breed.

Despite being in the genus Fratercula, the puffin is our choice for Indie Bird of the Week. These badasses are generally from Iceland and the northern Atlantic and Pacific coasts where they terrorize the water for food like fish and zooplankton. They can actually hold several small fish in their bill to feed to their chicks instead of regurgitating swallowed fish. Puffin chicks obviously have it better than most bird chicks because their parents are cool enough to feed them LIVE FISH. This is also helpful because they can go on longer foraging trips and bring back more food. Their beaks get brighter during breeding season, which turns on everyone and bad decisions are made. Ever wake up next to an ugly puffin in the nest after a long night of foraging and realize the mistake you’ve made? Agony. The puffins even have their own cereal, which looks quite delicious. The cereal actually supports Project Puffin, which helps to restore seabird habitats. If you’re trying to get really indie, this is the way to do it. Just be sure to be listening to The National while eating the cereal.

Note to small fish: Don't fuck with this guy.

Unfortunately, those heathens in Iceland as well the Faroe Islands hunt and eat Puffins. They hunt them by swinging big nets near low flying Puffins, who are clearly just trying to hang out and live off the land. I don’t care how delicious they might be Iceland and Faroe Islands, this is not very cool.  If you know somebody who is from either of these countries, tell them that this aggression will not stand man.

I hope you enjoyed not only the puffin but the Indie Bird of the Week feature in general. If you’ve got a favorite indie bird that you want featured, let us know.

 

-The Nature Boy